"If you were to appoint me as your Deputy, Mister Jenkins," said Clara Hateman, sitting side on to the Principal to show her fine figure to full advantage, "I can assure you I would work tirelessly to bring all one hundred and thirty of your girls to the peak of their potential. This is a life's vocation of mine. And the boys as well of course. How many boys did you say you have on roll?"

"Six," came the reply. "Only six guys but by the Gods of Hell, they're the proudest and the meanest males on the face of this earth. I swear it, they all take after me, haw, haw, haw!"

"How wonderful! Oh I can see that I am in the right place for the fullest exercise of my powers." She beamed the sweetest of lipstick smiles at Karl Jenkins, giving his chauvinistic heart quite a flutter. He had already decided to appoint this darling woman, as soon as he saw the photograph on her application form with the information that she was still single at the age of 40. His intent was doubled by the shape of her legs as she dangled one of her high heels in the air for him to admire.

"I just love your name, Clara. Miss Hateman, haw, haw, haw. The boys'll love that for a laugh." He straightened his tie, turned the folder round so that the new appointee could sign, and pushed it across his walnut desk, followed by his own pen in rolled gold. "Please sign here, my dear."

Clara Hateman had him where she wanted him. With her foot inside the door of Emily Crushman College, in the form of a signed contract to confirm her permanent position on the staff, she would be quids in to turn the tables on these despicable males - and on this stupid jerk in particular. Her eagle eye skimmed the text to make sure, and signed on the dotted line.

"Thank you. I'll keep this," and the rolled gold pen went into her safe-like purse. She got to her feet opposite the surprised looking principal. "The first thing is: get your clothes off."

She was on her way round the table and bearing down on him as he begged to question what she meant.

"You heard me, mouse-face. STRIP!" and to add force to her orders she grabbed him by the lapels, spun him round and wrenched his still-fastened jacket to his elbows.

"M-Miss Hateman, what are you do- "

Karl Jenkins could see this wasn't some kind of high-spirited celebration of her interview success: the blackness of her frown and the set of her jaw was far too bitter for that. His trousers were round his knees as he struggled to get her hands off him, then his boxers, and in twenty seconds flat he was standing naked in front of his new Deputy Headmistress, holding his hands over his privates. "I - I don't understand, Clara. Why are you behaving like this?"

"THIS is why," she cried, flourishing the contract and slotting it into her briefcase. "Neither you nor the board can get rid of me, Jenkins, especially since my friend Hilary Sweetlove is the Chairwoman. There are some pretty big changes going to happen, starting with the new Principal."

"The new Principal? What d'you mean. I'M the Principal."

"Not any more you're not. You'll find that I am."